I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Randomize
