This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Quick, to the slutcave!
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
