We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
