i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
