While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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