Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
