She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I cut my penus on the lid.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
