i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
