Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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