I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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