Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Randomize