I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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