You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
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