theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
