Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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