if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
