eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Randomize
