in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
