well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
