idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
