what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
