dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
