I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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