break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
