I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
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