I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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