i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
