then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I got inside last night via doggy door
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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