Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I got inside last night via doggy door
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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