Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
