i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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