that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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