Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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