ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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