My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
