the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
