It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize