I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
She announced her abortion via fbk
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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