; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
