i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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