he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
