found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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