I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
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Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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