Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
