I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize