hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
