he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I wish i was in the wii world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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