I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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