i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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