I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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