you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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