I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
