Im at strip club and am horny
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
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