O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
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