OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
