The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize