the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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