There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Randomize
