There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Randomize
