Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
